During the course of a night, a dog lying in your bed will expand twice his normal body length and double his weight.

He will also end up sleeping in the exact center of the bed, no matter where he began the night at.

Word.

A big thank you to Best Friends Dog Club of Sun City for having me speak at their meeting today. What a nice group of knowledgeable dog people. It was a pleasure to meet all of them.

The group gave me a Vial of Life, which they use to let emergency rescue providers know that there are pets in the house. The vial is an old prescription pill bottle that contains a list of pertinent info about pets such as names, vets’ names, medications.  In Sun City, the vial is kept in the butter compartment of people’s refrigerators. When emergency personnel have to respond to a call at a person’s home, they know to check the butter drawer for more info.

I’m carrying my vial in my purse. You never know….

Thanks again!

Next stop on the speaking tour: Bark Avenue Pet Supply in Mesa on March 17.

Valentine’s Day is right in the middle of “Chocolate season’’ from Halloween to Easter and it’s when pet poison call centers get their most calls about dogs getting sick, or in some cases dying from eating chocolate.

The buzz that we get from eating chocolate can be dangerous for dogs. A chemical compound in chocolate lasts only minutes in us but it can last hours in dog’s bodies, over stimulating their central nervous systems and affecting their hearts and kidneys.

The darker the chocolate, the more trouble it is for dogs. Baker’s chocolate can be especially dangerous.

Even handing out a little bit of chocolate can be dangerous since it may encourage your dog to go back to raid the candy box. So, this year, be selfish and keep the candy for yourself!

Check out this totally cool chart on how your dog’s weight can determine how sick they can get from eating chocolate.

Sigh…. I am not going to tell you what The Beagle just ate.

Let’s just say that it was in a glass bottle with a metal cap and she used her doggie teeth as a bottle opener. It was a first and now I know she is capable of that miraculous feat as well as many others.

I will keep an eye on her and make some rice to keep on hand if her stomach starts acting up. I am also going to comfort myself with reading about other troublesome dogs chronicled at the Hambone Awards.

The Hambone Award is named in honor of a VPI-insured dog that got stuck in a refrigerator and ate an entire Thanksgiving ham while waiting for someone to find him. The dog was eventually found, with a licked-clean ham bone and a mild case of hypothermia.

And now, I am also going to make sure the refrigerator door is absolutely, positively shut.

Dear Hallmark:

I have been a faithful Hallmark customer and I am hoping you can help me out with this small request. I have looked for a card expressing a particular sentiment but have so far been unable to find one. I need a card that says something like:

Sorry my dog peed on your bathroom rug (again).

If you have a card like this in stock or could whip one up, that would be terrific.

Signed,

Jodie Snyder
Gold Crown Member #8250q5q0qt7

New Year’s Resolutions:

In researching Happy Dog Phoenix,
I learned a lot about dogs and here’s what I resolve to do “dog-wise’’ in 2012:

1. Make sure her dog tag info is easily read and accurate. Truth be told, the tag engraving is wearing off –it’s time for a replacement stat.
2. Get out more with her. There’s a lot more places that look kindly to dogs. Here’s a list.
3.  Respect her past: She’s hardwired to be a scavenger. Dogs evolved into dogs from wolves because of their scavenger skills. Is it any wonder any unprotected garbage can doesn’t stand a chance with her?

You know what’s unsettling?

Waking up after your fabulous holiday house party and walking barefoot to get a cup of coffee and stepping on a damp spot on the carpet.

How did the spot get there? Bad accident-prone guest? Bad accident-prone dog? No one is fessing up.

Here’s how I deal with stains of unknown origins in the carpet: Club soda. I blot the area as much as possible. Pour club soda onto the spot and just keep blotting. It’s also good for dog throw-up as well.

Many of my friends report success with products designed specifically for dog urine. I like club soda because it’s also good in cocktails – what a nice coincidence.